Quotes that comfort

I'm not fond of inspirational or motivational posters or memes. They seem as disconnected from reality as some line of comfort from the Bible or Koran, assuring you that God is going to do this or that for you, no really, eventually, but if he doesn't, you know, it's his plan, either way, be grateful, blah blah blah. And that complete disconnect from the real world rubs me the wrong way. To me, supposedly-inspirational quotes are saying, "This horrible thing that's happening to you is bringing people around you down, so cheer up and quit killin' the vibe!"

I have worked in some war-torn countries and with people that have witnessed genocide. I'm friends with some of them on Facebook. And some of those folks LOVE INSPIRATIONAL MEMES. Like this one a friend in Kabul posted recently:

Life is like a camera:
Focus on what's important
Capture the good times
Develop from the negatives
And if things don't work out
Take another shot!

I stared at it, like I stare at all her memes, and other people's memes, and think, really? You, living in a warzone, love these chirpy citations?

I try to be ultra-sensitive in appreciating people's dire pasts and current dire circumstances. I also try so hard to be realistic in my approach to comforting human suffering. I avoid platitudes like the plague for people going through painful times, and certainly for people in a place where there are bombings regularly. Because I know what it's like to be devastated by something and have someone say, "God has you!" or "When a door closes, a window opens" or "the universe has a plan." Those things not only aren't helpful to me, I pretty much want to punch the person who says them.

Yet I also cannot deny that some people LOVE platitudes. And I get it: they affirm what people want to believe is true, and having hope affirmed is a powerful thing, one that can get you through all sorts of horrors. A quote can resolve a dialogue, a debate, that you’re having with yourself - and you may be yearning for such a resolution for that internal debate or questioning, and here's this perfect quote that simplifies your struggle and how to solve it, wrapping the answer up neatly in a well-structured, pithy phrase. Certainly, we all want to believe there is wisdom that can help us through any struggle, and those inspirational quotes can seem like well-established, even long-established wisdom.

I'm not going to talk anyone out of liking quotes that give them comfort, as long as they don't assume others would be comforted by them. God is good, all the time is one of the most offensive things I have EVER heard, as I've said before, and you can keep it to yourself when you're around me, thanks very much. But I'm not going to comment on your inspirational quotes on Facebook - you do you, and if that makes you feel better, that's great.

Do I have quotes I like, that give me comfort? Oh, yes, very much. I like quotes about how nature gives inspiration and comfort. I like quotes from Carl Sagan about the vastness and wonder of the universe. I like quotes about the comfort and joy given to us by music... or dogs.

But one of my favorite quotes is from Mr. Rogers. Freakin' Mr. Rogers. Yes, the television show host. The Presbyterian minister. The devout Christian. And it's that quote about what his mother would say when something horrible happened, like an assignation, or a disaster that killed several people:

“Always look for the helpers,” she’d tell me. “There’s always someone who is trying to help.” I did, and I came to see that the world is full of doctors and nurses, police and firemen, volunteers, neighbors and friends who are ready to jump in to help when things go wrong.

I am comforted by that statement because I want so much to believe that there are people who will ignore what religion or society tells them and, instead, help EVERYONE and ANYONE who is hurting.

I won't mock quotes that give you comfort. Hope you will do the same for me.

Pet Peeve: Lousy Quoters

Atheists love to call out religious folks for misquoting their respective scriptures, and for ignoring the MANY instances when their respective scriptures have been altered over the years. I love to do it myself, having been raised a Baptist and knowing the Bible - and the history of such, including the changes - better than my religious friends.

But I'm going to have to call out my Atheist brethren for so often being lousy at quoting - specifically, for not ensuring a quote is accurate and is properly sourced before using it.

A case in point: Lighthouses are more useful than churches. Benjamin Franklin did not say this! But you will find this quote all over various blogs and web pages. The wikiquote page for Franklin says the origin of this phrase MAY be a paraphrase of something he wrote to his wife on 17 July 1757, given in a footnote on page 133 of Memoirs of the Life and Writings of Benjamin Franklin (1818). After describing a narrow escape from shipwreck he added:

The bell ringing for church, we went thither immediately, and with hearts full of gratitude, returned sincere thanks to God for the mercies we had received: were I a Roman Catholic, perhaps I should on this occasion vow to build a chapel to some saint, but as I am not, if I were to vow at all, it should be to build a light-house.

Another one: The government of the United States is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion. This was NOT said by George Washington. It is a line from the English version of the Treaty of Tripoli of 1796, initially signed by a representative of the US on 4 November 1796 during Washington's presidency, approved by Congress 7 June 1797 and finally signed by President John Adams on 10 June 1797. Article 11 of it reads:

As the government of the United States of America is not in any sense founded on the Christian Religion,— as it has in itself no character or enmity against the laws, religion or tranquility of Musselmen,— and as the said States never have entered into any war or act of hostility against any Mehomitan nation, it is declared by the parties that no pretext arising from religious opinions shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.

There are some terrific, verifiable quotes out there in support of secularism and even Atheism, including from the USA founding fathers and various great thinkers. The wikiquote site makes it super easy to find out if he or she really said whatever it is you want to quote!

And as Abraham Lincoln once said: “On the Internet, nobody knows you’re not quoting Martin Luther King, Jr.”