Trying not to throw things at the TV when Franklin Graham comes on

I loathe Franklin Graham. He's president and CEO of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association and of a nonprofit Samaritan's Purse. He sews hate. Some of the hateful statements he's made:

• In March 2011, Graham said the 2011 earthquake and tsunami in Japan "maybe" the second coming and Armageddon - talk that was meant to get more converts (and donors) to his ministry. BTW - we're still here.
   
• Graham refers to homosexuality as "an abomination" and compared "conversion therapy" to Conversion to Christianity. If you don't know, conversion therapy is the pseudoscientific and horrific practice of trying to change an individual's sexual orientation from homosexual or bisexual to heterosexual. There is no reliable evidence that sexual orientation can be changed and medical institutions warn that conversion therapy practices are ineffective and potentially harmful.
   
• Graham supported North Carolina Amendment 1 prohibiting same-sex marriage and all domestic partnerships.
   
• Graham defended Russian President Vladimir Putin's "gay propaganda" law and has praised his leadership for "protecting children from any homosexual agenda or propaganda.
   
• He's made horrific anti-Islamic remarks, criticizing Islam for many of the same beliefs that are stated in the Bible.
   
• He repeatedly tried to assert that President Barack Obama, a Christian, was, in fact, a Muslim and supported terrorism.
   
• In November 2016, Graham told The Washington Post that God had played a role in Donald Trump's election as U.S. president, saying: "I could sense going across the country that God was going to do something this year. And I believe that at this election, God showed up." Since the election, Graham has "become known, above all, as the most vociferous evangelical ally" of Trump. 

Now Franklin Graham is on TV a lot, via a commercial, telling people that all they have to do is invite Jesus into their lives and they won't be afraid anymore of COVID19. You see, Graham isn't allowed to hold his big money-making rallies anymore, because people would DIE of this virus as a result, so he's got to find a new way to get followers and their money. That's why he's doing these commercials, and his message doesn't stop at just the prayer he thinks you should say: he also says you should, of course, call HIS prayer line and pray with one of HIS employees. And they will, of course, get your name and address and phone number, and then you can start being asked for financial donations to sustain his "ministry."

If these TV commercials weren't really all about Franklin Graham and him getting your money, he'd stop with that encouragement for you to pray - end commercial! But he wants to make certain you call that number, so he can get your info.

But even if he had stopped at just the prayer, I would have written a blog of anger, because all I can think of is all those many, many people who are going to pray that prayer, yet again, and think, okay, this time, maybe THIS time, Jesus is finally going to reveal himself to me and I'm going to experience all these things these preachers and believers keep assuring me is going to happen. I've just got to have FAITH! Maybe this time, my desperation and anxiety, at the very least will be addressed - and maybe THIS time, it will mean my husband or parents or whoever will stop abusing me, or my child will not have this chronic condition that is bankrupting our finances and draining me in every way, and on and on.

And they are going to pray that prayer, yet again, and it's not going to work, it's not going to help, and they are going to feel, yet again, like Jesus doesn't like them, that there's something wrong with them that they don't feel this think that Franklin Graham says he feels and you will too.

I am here to tell you that there is nothing wrong with you. It is exhausting to keep waiting for Jesus to show up and do what Franklin Graham promises - but you can stop that exhaustion and desperation by quitting your wait for a magical, invisible, and mythical being to help you. Instead, reboot with these two thoughts:

• other people have survived what you are struggling with, and that means you can too.
   
• no one person can fix this for you, but you will need help, and there IS help.
   
• this is a marathon, not a sprint, and your problems won't be addressed in a day, or a week, or a month, or even several weeks, and not be doing one simple thing, BUT there are absolutely things you can do, there are absolutely things you can control, and exercising that control, even in little things, but on an ongoing basis, will make things at least more survivable, and maybe even better. 

Those three points have helped me more than Jesus ever has.

Identify exactly what it is you need to make things in your life at least survivable, if not tolerable, and then pursue what you need to do to get exactly what you need. It could be:

• Accepting that you cannot change this quickly, and accepting that you will need to change your strategies at least a few times.
   
• Leaving the abusive home you are in - a domestic violence shelter can help you (but you will probably be put into a hotel).
   
• Selling whatever you can to get cash.
   
• Looking into whatever you can possibly do for cash that is safe and ethical: dog walking (a lot of home-bound people are desperate for this service right now, and there are ways to do it safely even in this age of COVID19), grocery shopping for someone else, simple yard work, etc.
   
• Scanning and posting images/screen captures of your medical and house/apartment bills on Flickr, with your address, social security number and account number edited out, and then contacting every elected official that serves you, as well as local press, and saying, "How am I supposed to pay all this now?" Be respectful but relentless in your communications.
   
• Exploring bankruptcy.
   
• Finding online and print resources that relate to what you are going through - postpartum depression, abuse by a married partner, abuse by an unmarried partner, elder abuse, child abuse, bankruptcy, a chronic health condition - and read them, don't just scan them. Be careful of pseudoscience sites or any sites trying to sell you something.
   
• Getting therapy - and if your insurance doesn't cover it, call your county health department and ask them where you should get it.
   
• Making a list of every nonprofit in your area that might be able to help somehow and contacting them.  

If you have time to watch TV or be on Facebook, then you have time to exercise. No matter how ridiculous you think it makes you look and no matter how useless it may feel, exercise every day, even if it's just walking back and forth on your block, or doing situps in your bedroom. If you have a condition that doesn't let you do situps, then work on your arms - cans of soup can be good for arm workouts. What exercise does is cause you to breathe more deeply, which helps reduce anxiety.

Set a timer for being on social media and turn it OFF when your timer is up, until tomorrow. Things to do instead of social media:

• Watch a movie or documentary, without using your phone in any way at the same time. Watch it the way you should in a theater, with a darkened room and quiet.
   
• Read a book. Any book. Take as many days or weeks you need to finish it. Then start another.
   
• While you clean your living space, listen to music or an audiobook or podcast.
   
• Teach yourself solitaire and play with real cards, not online cards. Play it while you listen to music or a podcast.
   
• Write. It can be a journal. It can be fanfiction. It can be a business plan for the business or nonprofit you would love to start. It could be what your speech would be if you were being inaugurated as President. 

The less time you spend on social media and, instead, engage in these simple activities, the better you will feel. And these activities not only help you get through dark thoughts, they also might prompt you to come up with an action plan that could help you in the long term.

And keep looking for hope.