If you haven't seen the television series Ted Lasso, stop reading now - because the following is a spoiler. And I wouldn't spoil that show for the world. If you have no desire to watch Ted Lasso, please also stop reading, because the following will mean nothing to you.
For those of you who did watch it, or watched at least the first season: I felt like I knew who I was, for the first time in my life, when Ted Lasso played darts.
Guys have underestimated me my entire life and for years I never understood why – it used to really bother me. Then one day I was driving my little boy to school, and I saw a quote by Walt Whitman, it was painted on the wall there and it said, ‘Be curious, not judgmental.’ I like that.
(Ted throws a dart.)
So, I get back in my car and I’m driving to work and all of a sudden it hits me – all them fellas that used to belittle me, not a single one of them was curious. You know, they thought they had everything all figured out, so they judged everything, and they judged everyone. And I realized that their underestimating me – who I was had nothing to do with it. Because if they were curious, they would’ve asked questions. Questions like, ‘Have you played a lot of darts, Ted?’”
(Ted throws another dart.)
To which I would have answered, ‘Yes sir. Every Sunday afternoon at a sports bar with my father from age ten until I was 16 when he passed away.’ Barbecue sauce.
(Ted throws a double bullseye to win the game.)
Some people love this scene because the person he beats in the game so deserved to be beaten, and got beaten by his own hubris - he made an assumption, he didn't to his homework. And that is delightful. But for me, I love the scene because I, too, have been underestimated all my life. I still am by a lot of folks, including some very dear to me. But it mostly happened when I was far younger, and so often belittled by neighborhood kids, some fellow students, even some teachers. Hearing that speech on Ted Lasso made me realize, for the first time, that none of them were curious. Not about anything, not just me. Later, when I started to do quite well at this or that, I would hear about their shock. "Her?! She did THAT?!? She worked THERE?!? She met HIM?!? She went to THERE?!?" And my favorite: "She sings?!"
Yes, me. I did that. Because I'm curious, and because I found other people just as curious as me.
And if you have known me, but didn't know I sing - then you were never curious about me.
Be kind to others. And be curious.
